Belinda Levychin, Program & Marketing Director
Details, details, details — sometimes the last thing a person with Fire Power wants to think about. After all, for folks with Fire Power, it’s about the excitement, the joy you get with the finished product, whether it’s a school project or even planning a fun activity. People who have Gold Power are often about the details, the structure, even the beauty of things. The hero-helpers that feed Gold Power are Earth and Water Powers, allowing people who have Gold Power to be empathetic and patient. Their hero-challengers are Fire and Wood, which means for a Fire Power like myself there is some built in struggle to find my inner Gold Power!
This can sometimes transform me into a person who is racing through a project to get to the part that really makes me feel joy. But what I have come to understand is that when I take my time and work hard on the details, I’m far happier with my end result. But, truthfully, that is easier said than done. Throughout my life I notice that I some of my best friends have been Gold-Powered folks, great way to bring balance, right?!
Gold-Powered kids are usually the ones who need a right or wrong answer. Having things be open-ended can sometimes cause anxiety for these kids because they are wired to seek perfection. This is a perfect opportunity for the kids to tap into their own inner Fire or Wood Powers. Tournesol Kids, the Game offers an exercise called Laughing Meditation a cool way to find your inner Fire Power and stop taking your Gold self so seriously.
Most of us enjoy the works of those people who are driven by their Gold Power: beautiful buildings, brilliant engineering marvels, and — let’s be honest here — to have things done well, the first time. But at the end of the day, it’s about how all our powers work together to bring balance, beauty and perfection to our universe.
Check out more exercises to balance Gold Power on our website: T-Kids The Game
Belinda Levychin, Program & Marketing Director
I am a Fire Person who has always loved to create gatherings and celebrations. Having my loved ones around is a surefire way (pun intended) to make me feel all is right with the world. It’s no surprise that Earth Power is one of my helpers. It is not unusual for me to create a party in a pinch whether there is something to celebrate or just because I have a need to share my joy. In fact, there was a dark time in my life where one could argue there was too much partying, no real down time, always hosting. My home had become a virtual bed and breakfast. And while my Fire enjoyed it, almost yearned for it, it became clear something had to give, and my helper Earth Power was in fact causing an imbalance.
For people who are innately Earth Power, their core essence is to bring unity and harmony to the world. And right about now we can all agree that we could use more harmony on our planet. But for people who have the power to make it seem as if they can create a whole world around the people they love, how do they find balance? What challenges people with Earth Power is both Water and Wood. When stressed they begin to think “alone is bad” and at times they may begin to overthink things which makes it hard to make decisions. They need to find activities that encourage movement, but at the same time they need to find ways to quiet their minds and find the stillness that Water Power so lovingly offers.
If you have a child that is Earth Power, it can be easy to assume that they are okay. What parent doesn’t enjoy it when they have a social child, or one who loves to be part of meal preparations for big celebrations. The questions that may need to be asked, however, are: Is your child moving enough? Are they really listening? Do they always travel in groups? Can they be comfortable alone?
So, find exercises for your Earth Power child that helps build their challengers Water and Wood. One of my favorite Wood exercises is Standing Like a Tree; just thinking about it makes me feel grounded! It allows for better concentration, lower blood pressure and supports balance. Check out all the exercises in the Tournesol Kids Game.
Earth Power folks are often the ones that make people feel at home and part of a community. The trick is not to be so into the group that your child overlooks themselves.
Belinda Levychin, Program & Marketing Director
As a Fire Power, I always liked to say when working on a project with a deadline it is always helpful to have someone with Wood Power on your team. Their competitive need to win and get things done can be great, they, after all, love to keep it moving. But what happens when there is nothing to be done, nothing to win?
As the oldest grandchild in our family (#1 of 26), I loved to be in control and always wanted to win. In fact, I score highly for Wood Power as well. My siblings have since informed me that I was the pushy, bossy big sister. Of course, I cannot deny that this has helped me in life as I often seek to lead projects in order to get the desired control. It also fueled my ambitious nature and gave me the tenacity required to get quick promotions in my jobs over the years.
My basic mantra was, if I’m playing, I’m playing to win! Often, it was lost on me to be present to the actual experience of the game itself. The focus was always on the end result. But recently I had an a-ha moment while learning to play a card game from an experienced master player. She taught me that sometimes it wasn’t about having the best cards to win but having the precision and grace to work with the cards you have been dealt. Could this be a metaphor for life? Interestingly enough, in her real life she has reached some major pinnacles. I could see in watching her play how balanced she was both as a card player and a fully expressed human being.
In Tournesol Kids Core Concepts, Wood Power hero is described as someone who brings courage to the world through movement, grit and freedom of choice. The specific hero-helpers, the powers that feed you, are Water Power and Fire Power, while the hero-challengers are Gold Power and Earth Power. If you have a child who is a Wood Power, you may find yourself feeling proud of their ability to get things done, maybe even marvel at their take charge attitude. The question you might ask yourself is how are they when it comes down to relating to their friends or maybe sitting down to a group meal; how patient are they when working on a project, particularly a group project?
The Tournesol Kids Game has some great Gold and Earth exercises that can help Wood Power kids find their balance. One example of a Gold Exercise is called What’s the Point? This exercise is designed to improve cognitive flexibility. It is a game centered on figuring out multiple ways to use different objects.
Find out more about this game and other exercises on our website.
Belinda Levychin, Program & Marketing Director
I love being a Fire Power. It is not unusual for folks who just meet me to say I have so much energy and light. And in all honesty, I wake up most mornings ready for the day and grateful to be up to enjoy whatever the day brings. My college roommate was not always happy I woke up like this! Even before I had this language, I knew I had something that made me bounce off the walls all the time! I always want to be in happiness mode, even during dark times. In fact, some of my best quips come in the worst of times. It made total sense to me that people who are Fire Power are, by and large, optimistic, happy people.
So, I lived much of my life living on high. This has given me some success in my chosen career as a marketing and advertising professional. But the big issue was my life lacked balance. Going at 100 miles per hour was a recipe for burning out my FIRE. Luckily for me I found yoga, and I went so far as doing a Yoga Teacher Training.
The basic principles of the methodology behind Tournesol Kids is that each of us is born with an innate super power, based on the Five Principles of Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal (Gold), and Water. Each of these powers have helpers and challengers, but we need a bit of everything to get to a more balanced state. For Fire Power, the helpers are Wood and Earth and the challengers are Water and Gold.
It was no surprise when I saw that Fire Power’s challengers were Water and Gold Powers. After all, I’d spent a lot of my life keeping the fire burning; I wasn’t looking to tone it down. But just like I find in yoga, doing Water Power exercises gives the cues to find stillness similar to what yoga does when you move to find stillness between poses or asanas. And Gold exercises can encourage breathing and learning how to calm yourself with simple breathing exercises, like the breathing exercises found at the beginning and end of most yoga classes.
Coincidence? I think not, because this methodology is based on our whole bodies, which is the same for yoga. So now I embrace my inner Fire child, but I also allow room for the other four powers to play too. This way I can always come back to balance and still be smiling from ear to ear! What I learned in yoga continues to inspire me daily and anytime I find myself losing control, I just find my breath. So, no matter what your power is, everyone should look to their inner power to find the bright side of life – even in the stillness.
What’s wonderful about Tournesol Kids is that we are trying to reach kids so that they can learn how to be their most resilient selves, right now! The Tournesol Kids Game has some wonderful exercises to help balance out Fire Power, such as the This and That Game, which helps people appreciate new perspectives and face challenges in a positive way, or What’s it Feel Like, which combines Water Power (imagination) and Fire Power (feeling) to help us understand what we are truly feeling and allows for a better perspective of any situation.
Check out the Tournesol Kids Game and get working on your super power!
Michele Zipper, T-Kids Coach
Today, I thank my son for teaching me and helping me see clearly through the fog. You taught me a valuable lesson, for which I am so grateful.
Back to school time is a crazy time for most people, getting the kids used to their new schedule, teacher, and friends. For me, I have three kids in three different schools this year, with three different bus times and three different lunch needs. I’ve been amazed at how focused I was on getting through this morning routine smoothly from 6:30am all the way till 8:45am. My favorite part about this routine is that because their bus times are spaced apart, I get to spend at least 20 minutes of special one-on-one time with each child before they head off to school and the next one wakes up.
However, today my oldest son, who just started middle school, threw me for a loop when he asked if I could drive him because the bus has been late and he’s still adjusting to getting into his seat on time. My heart went out to him, and I agreed to drive him. So lunches were finished quickly, and my middle son came down as I was getting ready to walk out the door. I gave him a choice to come and eat breakfast in the car and drop him off afterward, or he could stay home to relax, and I’ll rush back to take him to the bus. He opted to stay home, and said to me, “I’ll just set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes in case you’re not back so I could jump on my bike and ride to the bus stop.” I loved that idea and was so proud of him for taking the initiative to be independent.
After dropping my oldest off, I rushed home, only to be stopped by a police officer for rolling through a stop sign. He took a long time getting out of the car, and as the minutes went by, the tears started running down my face. All I could think was, “I need to get back to give my son a hug before he goes to school.” By the time he came over, I was a flat out mess. As my hands completely shook, looking for my license and registration, I cried over and over, “I missed the bus, I missed the bus, I missed the bus.” Upset because I felt I had let my son down and abandoned him. I called my friend to confirm he got on the bus, and she said, “He’s all smiles biking over here, no problem!”
I drove home, only to see my son’s bike and helmet sitting on the side of the road, and once again, the tears came. But instead of sadness, they were tears of independence, of pride, and of joy.
So often, as parents, we want to help them and protect them from making their own mistakes, to make sure their road is smooth in front of them. However, it’s actually the bumps that keep them present and focused on their own paths. When things are too easy and done for them, they don’t have the chance to work out their grit and resilience muscles, and those muscles are needed to grow emotionally stronger. We need to teach our children coping skills, and in the process, teach ourselves.
So thank you, my son. My son grounded in metal, whose challenge and power is sometimes the same. Sometimes you get stuck and insecure in ways because you’re so focused on the details. But today, when you used your power of details, of getting it done, you truly shined, and in turn, helped me grow as a mom. Thank you, my son, I know you had a fantastic day at school, and you can confidently know I will be there at the end of your day with the most loving hug.
Carey Davidson, Executive Director
“I want you to know that I’m starting my own religion.” My 15-year-old daughter triumphed. Something inside was weighing on her and this declaration released a measure of heaviness. It was hot and humid, mid-July. We were visiting her up at camp in the Poconos for Visiting Day with the requisite goodies, replacement flip flops for those lost in the mud and bug repellant for me.
We halted our picnic lunch preparation and digested this new information. My daughter’s eyes shone with purpose. Her desire for unity and compassion for all people inspired internal unrest and she wanted to take action as a result. It was awesome. “I’m calling it Happy-ism and you have to be happy to be accepted. That’s the only way you can get in.”
A religion based on happiness. Interesting. Would I qualify as happy enough for her religion? Other than the fact that I’m her mom and teenagers have this magic radar that detects Mom as POS (parent over shoulder) with cosmic accuracy, would my happiness factor make me eligible?
My kids are my most profound teachers. From the moment I entered parenthood, my children began teaching me about patience and perspective, unconditional love, empathy and selflessness. They’ve shown me that when I can set aside frustration and embody stillness and calm, I can see and empathize with my own and other’s needs.
I looked at my daughter again and was grateful to her for serving as my guru in this moment. With a gentle exhale, I smiled and explored my daughter’s process for Happy-ism.
Could I be Happy-ish? What is happy anyway? Is it the absence of sadness or pain, or is it a sustained feeling of euphoria? Would my levels be tested periodically? From one moment to the next the amount of happiness I have is impacted by the context of my changing life, so I may be eligible now, but not necessarily in fifteen minutes from now.
I wondered if there had been any data collected recently that measured the happiness levels of my fellow Americans. I was curious whether I’d have many fellow Happy-ism colleagues. It turns out that according to the 2016 Happiness Index, the Harris Poll, American’s aren’t all that happy. Only 30% reported feeling happy, with women slightly more happy than men and married people slightly more happy than singles. It’s also notable that Americans were less happy in 2016 than they were in 2015.
This data struck me as strange because in the past few years we’ve seen a trend toward internal growth efforts, consciousness and awakening. People have been seeking practices that naturally relieve the aches of emotional and spiritual suffering. Consequently, wouldn’t you think we’d report higher levels of happiness?
Many of us have regular yoga and meditation practices. We eat healthy food and vision board for our goals, but on a day to day basis, we struggle to find a balanced state of happy. We are all authorities of “Joy” when things are going well, yet after a string of disappointments and frustrating circumstances, we may ask you to talk to the hand. We can’t always control our environment and certainly can’t control context, so where do we go to learn to be happy?
Naomi came in to Tournesol the first Wednesday in August for her energy session on the Vibroacoustic table. Forlorn with shoulders hunched, she sighed a wistful exhale and plopped herself down in a heap on the water table. “Carey, can’t you just fix me? I want to feel happy.” The right edge of my mouth curled up ever so slightly and my eyes softened. I recognized that feeling of defeat. I walked a couple steps from the table to the vibroacoustic mixing board to choose the individual vibrational frequencies that would bring her body and mind into flow, into balance. We began her treatment and I opened my heart.
“Fix me,” is a common request in my practice and I hate to disappoint, I really really do. Ask anyone who knows me. But when I go into the Vibroacoustic Sound Therapy room and it’s just you, the furniture and me, I tell you something you don’t want to hear.
I’m not going to fix you.
I remember once in marriage counseling my ex husband and I asked the therapist how long it would take her to fix our marriage. There was an awkwardly lengthy pause after our question and in that space my pulse picked up speed. Why wasn’t she answering? Were we not fixable?
Our therapist shifted in her seat, uncrossed then re-crossed her legs. “Well, you see, these things take time,” she finally answered in her matter of fact way. My heart sank. I didn’t want to have to go home and sit with this heavy feeling any more. Her refusal to fix us in a timely manner made me question her and her practice entirely. Our 50 minutes with her had been a waste and I wondered if there was any hope for us. Looking back, it never occurred to me then to be open to and embrace the process of recovery. I didn’t see the value in a method that might take some time.
Eight years later I now understand where she was coming from. When I work with people now, I impart similar wisdom. However, you should know that while I won’t fix you, I will help you experience flow and balance and will serve as a guide to teach you how to grow and how to Happy.
Happy, the verb, is something you do. It is something you work at every day. Do you grow muscles by going to the gym once? No, you have to make it a regular practice to notice improvement. Growth happens over time.
As far as I can tell, 45 years into this life, the key to Happy-ing begins by soft-heartedly accepting life’s challenges, releasing the need to be right and releasing judgments and beliefs. When we resist the challenges life circumstances present, we increase the amount of suffering we feel. What was it my Aunt Carol said about visitors and fish? They both smell bad after three days. Same thing goes for the internal clutter that builds up when we resist challenging circumstances.
I’d bet twenty bucks you already know all this. You’ve probably experienced it countless times. I have too. So, why do we still resist? Our human nature leads us to tighten when challenged, but doing so causes us to suffer in the long run. I want to Happy, so why is the pull of inertia so strong? Even more confusing is that so many of us are waking up, are becoming conscious, but this awakening isn’t translating into sustainable clarity and happiness.
I think it’s because deep down inside we are hard wired to have to work for it – all the time, every single day in body, mind and spirit. You can’t meditate, detox and go to yoga class then cheat on your boyfriend and wonder why you’re still not a warrior of all things Zen.
In the end, I believe Happy-ish people practice stepping out of the ring of fire and into the heart centered space of empathy for themselves and for others. My guru, teacher, colleague and friend, the wise, wise Dr. Stephen Cowan taught me that Conflict multiplied by Resistance equals the amount of Suffering we feel. Reduce your suffering, increase your Happy-ing and always remember to forgive yourself for being human.
Deepika, Tournesol Kids volunteer
Children are born to play. Playing is fundamental to the way they learn. The American Academy of Pediatrics states:
“Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth. Play offers an ideal opportunity for parents to engage fully with their children. Despite the benefits derived from play for both children and parents, time for free play has been markedly reduced for some children.”
Playfulness is associated with the fun and relaxation of summer. The power of play stimulates imagination, which is essential for an overall health development for your children. As summer is here, slather on some sunscreen and explore & enjoy outdoors with your children with these few ideas.
- Growing a garden: Get to a community garden or in your own backyard and start a small garden. Let the children dig the mud, plant the flowers and trees. If you have the space, you can try easy-to-grow crops like lettuce, carrots, peas, and tomatoes.
- Hide-n-seek and Catch: Gather a group of your children’s friends and engage them in a game of hide-n-seek or catch.
- Go on a scavenger hunt: Organize or sign up for a scavenger hunt with your children.
- Nature painting: Gather the sketch books, pencils and paints. Take the children out to a park along with the picnic basket and indulge in a day of painting the nature.
- Explore bugs and insects: Go for a long walk and find interesting bugs and insects along the way. If it is possible, try and collect a few and help your children identify the various insects and learn about their role in the ecosystem.
- Explore pond life: Drive to the nearest pond and explore the plant and animal life in the water.
- Recycle and create: Head outside with your children and gather few natural and repurposed materials e.g. shells, stones, old metal tins, sticks, leaves. Allow your children to experiment and create things with these materials.
Remember that not all activities are beneficial for all children. Here too, one size doesn’t fit all kids. The Tournesol Kids #PowerUp Program which is based on this understanding focuses on providing children with simple yet profound ways to engage in play. The program can help parents and educators understand the different play activities they can engage the children in based on their secret power, so that they can achieve healthy cognitive, emotional and physical development.
Deepika, Tournesol Kids volunteer
We know emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. Having high emotional intelligence is an integral part of our cognitive intelligence. Cognitive intelligence uses feelings, imagination and logic to promote healthy attention that helps students gain a larger perspective of their life in relationship to their context.
Developing cognitive intelligence will allow the children to develop the ability to reason, solve problems, comprehend complex ideas as well as the ability to cope with and recover from stress. These skills are critical for all higher learning.
There are various exercises for children based on their secret power. Some of the exercises are:
- Mapping Tomorrow: Planning is an executive function all children need to develop. This exercise will help children in becoming more organized, imagining and planning for the future. Creating a map of the day builds confidence and lowers anxiety in managing the transitions and meeting unexpected challenges.
- Mood Meter: Developing emotional intelligence will allow the children to develop the ability to reason, solve problems, comprehend complex ideas as well as the ability to cope with and recover from stress. The Mood meter exercise helps children become connoisseurs of feelings in order to gain a deeper perspective on what is alive and constantly changing inside their hearts.
- Connecting Feelings to Needs: Discuss with children the importance of connection between feelings and their underlying needs. The connection and understanding of the underlying needs can help grow empathy, resolve conflicts and thus develop emotional intelligence.
Growing cognitive intelligence is also the bridge to our higher spiritual growth as a whole-hearted human being which is third facet of the Tournesol #PowerUp Program. The Tournesol #PowerUp Program encourages teachers and parents to practice cognitive intelligence exercises with their children as it helps in the holistic development of the children, allowing them to lead fulfilling successful lives.
Carey Davidson, Executive Director
“Mom!”
It was 9:27am on Tuesday, September 4th. Maddie was barely two hours into her first day of 11th grade and she was already calling me in a panic.
“I’m not going to be able to do this, Mom. I had one period of physics and I know I’m going to fail. I just know it. Mom, what am I going to do?”
I was 27 minutes into my first meeting of the morning. Meetings tend to be prime time for my kids to call with the crisis of the moment. This day was no exception.
“Maddie. Find your breath.” Her effort to take back control of her breathing was audible. My heart broke for her. My kids know my conflict resolution mantra by now – nothing gets solved in panic mode. Maddie struggled to stay with me and I mouthed a pleading “sorry…” to the woman in my office who had come to talk shop.
We’re now two months in and some things have improved, others haven’t.
Last night was college night at Maddie’s high school. The head of college counseling addressed the crowd of roughly 200 parents on admissions testing, financial aid and application essay writing. Maddie is child number three in my family. We’ve been through this before and my attention waned.
About 15 minutes in to the presentation a bar graph was projected up on the screen. I was drawn to a label under two separate bars, both entitled, “Mental Health.” It was a “You had me at hello,” moment for me. I love that we’re talking about this in high school.
“We asked kids and their parents separately to rank in order of importance nine different common high school concerns. We compared your answers to your kids’ answers and found an alarming, yet common trend.
“Parents ranked mental health number one. Kids marked it number seven.”
A recent New York Times article exposes the epidemic rise in college student depression, anxiety, eating disorders and the corresponding physical manifestations of these mental health issues. This all begs the question –
What Are We Doing to Prepare Our Kids for a Successful Life???
…which begs question number two, “What is the foundational skill that will help our kids succeed?”
Those of you who know me know I don’t mess around putting Band Aids on symptoms. I’m a root cause woman, so I’ve dived deep into this one.
The number one skill we all need is not part of any curriculum. The lack of this skill has us back-pedaling in universities, in our offices, in places of worship and across the political landscape. This skill is Dealing With Difficulty – with failure, with challenge.
What do you do when you are disappointed? In my practice I have yet to meet a person who has been taught at any point in their lives a solid strategy for self-awareness and self-regulation.
Schools and parents worldwide need a radically new way to ensure kids’ physical and emotional success. And – you guessed it! – I needed to make sure this method was created and available to every child around the world.
Three years ago, my dear friends and I built Tournesol Kids to empower parents, educators and kids with the three key skills science knows are predictors of better health and greater success:
1. Healthy physical self-awareness
2. Empathy
3. Self-regulation / problem solving
You can help make adult life a fulfilling experience of exploration and growth for children. Right now we are expending funds and energy making colleges and workplaces mental health institutions to compensate for our lack of skills.
Let’s turn this world around for future generations. Together!
Krissy Shields, TKids Coach
We all know about the benefits of probiotics by now. You can buy them over the counter and they are to help build a healthy gut bacteria. Since your gut is your second brain and directly linked with our emotional wellbeing it is important to create health in our digestive tract, especially for our kids.
A healthy gut builds microbiome to aid in digestion and build immunity with the help of pre and probiotics. Changes in the gut microbiome from chronic inflammation, stress, antibiotics, high carbohydrate diet, high sugar intake, or high toxic load from food and environment has been shown to negatively impact the brain. It not only helps us adults but can build a shield for our kids and their overall health. Especially the picky eaters!
Many of you know that you can get these probiotics over the counter but did you know that the best way to add this healthy bacteria in your gut is with food? Especially when the sicknesses are a plenty, a great way to build back your gut is with fermented foods.
A fermented food, like sauerkraut, is excellent for building microbiome. Simply take whatever organic vegetables you love, place them in a mason jar submerged with natural spring water (ideally, for the minerals it provides) and 2 tbs of sea salt for about a week. You will start to see bubbles and then your should burp or simply open it to let air out (in your sink). Leave there there for a few more days and stick it in your fridge.
One of my favorite recipes is carrots with ginger and garlic for all the healing properties. My rather picky eater will ONLY eat carrots and these are great for her. Plus she LOVES them!
Have fun. Enjoy the bounty of the seasons. Join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) which links communities with local organic farmers for the bounty of the seasons. In climates that have longer winters they usually start around April to Nov which is why fermentation is so beneficial. You can get nutrient packed vegetables that haven’t had to travel to get to you! So go to town with the excess. Be creative. Keep your family healthy.
Krissy Shields, founder of Maha Mama at www.mahamama.com