Stephen Cowan, MD, Director of Health & Education

This is the first in a six-part series on the Five Phase Journey through Adolescence.

Just when you thought you figured it all out, everything changes!

One of the profound wonders I get to witness every day in my pediatric practice is the way children transform themselves throughout their lives.  Preparing parents and children for these changes can help them navigate the deep mysteries of growing up.  Nowhere is this more important than during the dramatic transitions through adolescence.  Everyone needs a map when they enter new territory. I have, for many years now, used the Five Phase Cycle, the ancient farming map that has its origins in Chinese philosophy, to help guide parents and children to see through a wider-angle lens, the secret meanings held within all these changes.

The journey of a thousand miles begins right beneath your feet

Parenting is a spiritual practice that begins right in the middle of your life. For parents, in order to prepare to help your child move through the immense transitions and transformations of adolescence, you must embrace the spirit of change within yourself. The first step on this journey is to:

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD TO MAKE SPACE IN YOUR HEART.

This means letting go of any fixed ideas and judgments you may have about how your child should grow up.  This may be the greatest spiritual challenge of all.  Let’s face it, no one likes to be judged, especially teenagers.  Judgments are the best way to ensure your child won’t hear a single thing you say.  On the other hand, when you open your heart to the unique style and power that each child has, there is a shared sense of dignity and respect that is much more likely to open healthy lines of communication between you.  In this way, you become a safe haven for your child to ask the deep questions that are bound to arise without feeling shame or embarrassment.

To understand the five powers, see the tournesol kids video here.

The stages of adolescence unfold like seasons.

The stages of our life are a microcosm of the seasons.  This is a basic premise of the map I use to track the ecological terrain of transitions and transformations throughout our life.  This is how the context shapes our secret power.  As each developmental stage transitions into the next, existential questions are raised that challenge your child to grow and widen their perspective, building a deeper sense of self and the world around them.  Each of these deep questions reflects one of the five seasonal powers:

Winter energy (Water power): Who am I?
Spring energy (Wood power): Where am I going?
Summer energy (Fire power): When am I going to get there?
Harvest energy (Earth power): How am I going to get there?
Autumn energy (Gold power): Why am I going through all this?

MAKE SPACE IN YOUR HEART TO KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS

The transitions between the seasons are the very places where parents have the opportunity to support their children’s growth:

• Winter (Water) transitions into Spring (Wood). 
• Spring (Wood) transitions into Summer (Fire). 
• Summer (Fire) transitions into Harvest (Earth). 
• Harvest (Earth) transitions into Autumn (Gold).
• Autumn (Gold) transitions into winter (Water).

Belinda Levychin, Program & Marketing Director

It has been two years since we launched Tournesol Kids to the world! March 2017 continues to be a highlight in our timeline, and I am very proud of what we have done so far. We have taught several programs to many delighted and delightful kids. We have one Coach Training session under our belts. And many of our coaches have gone on to teach our program in their own communities. We continue to work to get our programs into the schools and communities that will get the benefits of the Tournesol Kids methodology. We’ve gotten a few grants, some generous donors, and many backers for our successful Kickstarter campaign. We have created great products including videos, exercise cards, and support materials all designed to help kids build resilience as they become their best selves. And we have the best volunteers on the planet!

I got involved with Tournesol Kids because I believe that you must make the most of your time here, right now! I believe that wellness requires treating the whole body and that wellness begins with knowing who you are and what’s best for you. And this is what we want all kids to have access to: something that allows them to be their own unique selves, something that gives them the tools first to understand themselves and then to build on those powers.

I have kids, two beautiful boys who benefit from having two parents who will do whatever is necessary to ensure their safety, health, and peace of mind. I want whatever is best for my kids and a lot of that comes from access: access to the people, methods and tools to help you when your child is dealing with a myriad of issues.

I continue to work with Tournesol Kids because every day I learn something from someone on the team. I’ve benefited from interacting with each kid I’ve worked with to teach the method. When a kid first finds out about their secret power, it is a wonder to behold. I now know that the universe needs all the powers working together — the connectors, the sparks of light, the detail-oriented, the contemplatives, and the ones who keep us all moving — to continue to progress forward.

I got involved with Tournesol Kids because it works. It’s a time-tested method on which I have come to rely to help keep me chill when necessary. I now know that going to my breath is a way to get to that chill. During the development of our introductory items, our #PowerUp videos, and our exercise card games, I felt as if I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And that’s what I want for everyone, because you want to make the most of your time, right now.

Kids with each of the five powers react differently at their best and under stress. See the graphic below to see how they are different!

What do you do when negative thoughts take up space in your mind? It’s not always easy to let them go. They have an ability to bring us down and to bring out the qualities in ourselves we don’t love the most.

At Tournesol Kids, we teach that negative thoughts don’t have to remain in your head. In fact, we have the power to be mindful of our thoughts and then blow them away like bubbles!

Imagine a negative thought inside a bubble outside your body and blow it away with an exhale. Try it three times and then check in with yourself and see if your emotions and feelings feel more balanced than before blowing the thought away.

Learn more strategies for maintaining a positive mindset through our #PowerUp course.

Growth Mindset thinking teaches kids that life is a series of explorations, of experiments and of opportunities to learn new skills. The old idea of Fixed Mindset thinking keeps kids believing that their potential in the world is limited. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Teach your kids the gift of having a Growth Mindset throughout their lives. The #PowerUp program is the only program of its kind that combines the science of Growth Mindset with mindfulness and compassion to give kids skills to use in the face of challenge. Power on up!

Stressed Gold-type kids are over-critical and easily annoyed. By doing Earth Power exercises like mindful eating, they can find empathy for others.

Through Earth Power, you’ll grow the ability to create connections. Earth Heroes help other people get along. By nature, they are generous, kind, and caring.

Learn how to connect to the world around you and develop empathy for others in our #PowerUp course.

When Water kids are stressed, they can be apathetic and disconnected. Gold Power exercises can help them find their connective breath again.

Through Gold Power, you’ll grow the ability to be mindful of your thoughts. Gold Heroes have the power to examine thoughts very carefully.

Develop mindfulness of your thoughts through our #PowerUp course.

Stressed Earth kids can be worried and indecisive. Fire Power exercises help them feel playful and optimistic. 

The secret power of fire that everyone can use to feel passion in their life is X-Ray Feeling. To grow X-Ray Feeling, you need to learn to identify others’ moods and be expressive about your own. 

Learn how to get better at expressing emotion through our #PowerUp course.

Stressed Fire-type kids are over-excited and over-sensitive. By doing Wood Power exercises, they can channel their excess of energy into movement.

Wood Power is about movement: looking – exploring – growing. Physical movement is one of our essential health needs. Just a few health benefits are naturally controlling weight, reducing inflammation, preventing heart disease, increasing energy, improving mood, and promoting better sleep.

Learn an exercise for calm movement in our #PowerUp course.

How does your child respond to stress?

Knowing your kid’s stress type is crucial to understanding how you can help them build resilience and become a superhero. Once you determine their stress type, you can make a strategic plan for building up their weaknesses through our #PowerUp exercises.

Find your child’s stress type (and your own!) by taking our free online assessment.