Tournesol Kids logo

Mailjet

from Dr. Stephen Cowan

There’s something missing from the information the CDC is offering right now that is more critical to our personal health than all the statistics.

During my many years of primary care practice whenever flu came through town, I would call those newly diagnosed every day to see how they were doing. This served two purposes. It let them know that I was caring for them and this helped them feel less alone, AND it also helped me know the story of the present illness, it’s natural evolution. This was critically important information that I could use to comfort other patients as they came down with the flu. And that’s exactly what’s missing right now. No stories!

Stories are facts! We should not deny this truth. Stories carry within them all the complexity of each individual life, the epigenetic truth of how we live our life, how we get sick and how we get better. When we lose the story we decontextualize the facts, and this depersonalizes our experience, creating great fear because it is not really about anyone. When it’s not about anyone, it’s about EVERYONE. Fear is an age-old way of motivating people. It’s been used in politics, medicine and education to coerce behavior. But mobilization with fear, as Stephen Porges has described in Polyvagal theory, can create more confusion and chaos by triggering fight-or-flight reactions in our mammalian brain, making it sound like it’s every person for themselves. Over time, this chronic state of threat creates a deep sense of social isolation and a deeper state of helplessness that disconnects us from the natural physiological rhythms and functions we’ve evolved to mount a healthy response to an infection.

Relationships matter in healing.

Chinese medicine has a long history of dealing with crises like the current one. During the 1600’s when new epidemics moved through the world, Chinese doctors recognized that new approaches were needed to address new problems so they changed their thinking. Such adaptability is why Chinese medicine remains the oldest continually practiced health care in the world. One of the basic tenets of Chinese medicine is called the Five Phases or Five elements of healing. There are five elemental rhythms and relationships that exist at every level of nature on planet earth. You don’t need a double blind randomized controlled study to know this is true. These five rhythms reflect the seasons, the time of day and the way all things grow. They are traditionally known as Water-Wood-Fire-Earth-Metal. This is how nature offers us a guide to self-care.

The Five Elements of Self-Care

Because we don’t yet know the particular stories of the people who have recovered from Corona virus, we are left without the basic information we need to understand the risks. But we do have the basic facts that nature offers us that can serve as a tool-box to promote resilience and improve our chances of survival in these extraordinary times. If we’re all going to help blunt the curve of this pandemic by limiting exposure here are some proactive things you can do to care for yourself while weathering the storm.

1. Water: Drink and Sleep

Drink: Try to drink 2-3 times more warm fluids than you would normally do. The immune system works best when it’s well hydrated. The lungs abhor dryness and can’t defend themselves well. As with the flu, people who end up hospitalized are typically under hydrated. And of course, Water means washing your hands. Here is a song I wrote for children to time their hand washing and at the same time chase away the fear that paralyzes our immune system. It goes to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star.

Fear kills my mind
I shall not fear

Fear makes my thoughts
become unclear

I face my fear
Wash it away

With these two hands
I face my day

And when my fear
Goes down the drain

I see that only
I remain.

Sleep: in Chinese medicine the night corresponds to the Water element, the time to cool down and detoxify. Inadequate sleep is one of the primary ways we run our immune defenses down. Create a new habit in these extraordinary times. Turn off the screens and lights and go to bed 1-2 hours earlier than you would normally do. Add some lavender oil to the room. Lavender oil can help clear the air of both infectious agents and stress. Download wave sounds to listen to before bed. This natural rhythm helps release the day’s anxieties.

2. Wood Power: Move and Nature

Move: Wood corresponds to the time of Spring when everything come alive. Movement promotes blood flow, which enables our immune cells to rally and circulate. This improves our resilience. Exercise should not be overly strenuous or excessive however, as it will deplete our reserves. Yoga, Taichi, dancing and walking are the best ways to promote mobilization without fear.

Nature: Unplug from your screens (at least part of the day)! It can deplete your defenses both by your lack of movement and because of the incessant fear being broadcast these days. Spend some time in nature. Even 10 minutes a day will help your body promote natural rhythms of defense and connect you back to Mother Earth.

3. Fire Power: Massage and Laugh

Massage: Fire is associated with the coziness of connection. In Denmark there is an important quality of light within darkness called Hygge that has been shown to promote healthy physical, emotional and mental relationships with the world. Massage yourself and your loved ones. Massage will bring the immune cells to the surface of your skin where they are needed to defend you. Massage brings comfort, connection and a cozy feeling like “we’re all in this together.” This is mobilization without fear. There is an age-old massage of the hands called tuina that has been practiced in families for centuries in China to strengthen immune defenses.

Laugh: Playful humor has been shown to rally immune resilience, releasing the immobilization of fear. One of the best ways we can gain perspective and shift out of fight-or-flight is to laugh at the absurdity of our situation. Consider watching comedies or telling jokes with loved ones. Here’s how I teach laughing meditation to the children in my practice. Stand in front of the mirror and slowly curl your mouth into a smile. Eventually it will trigger a goofy grin because you see how ridiculous it is. This mobilizes the musculature and nervous system of your face, activating the social engagement network, preventing Corona virus from invading.

4. Earth Power: Eat and Converse

Eat: Food is more than just fuel. There is a way to eat that can mobilize your immune system without fear. Our digestive system is intimately connected to our immune system. When we take time to eat slowly, we avoid triggering fight-or-flight reactions that can lead to paralysis of immune resilience. Good eating habits send a message to our body to take care.

Prepare comfort food that contains diversity and complexity. The current epidemic is complex so we have to meet it with complexity. This is how you train your immune cells to remain vigilant. Foods that take time to prepare like soups and stews provide the kind of warmth that your immune system needs to care for you.

Converse: If you can, try not to eat alone. Loneliness is the epidemic of our age. Recent studies have shown how detrimental it is to our physical health leading to inflammation which can make you vulnerable to infection. Eating is about connecting with others, strengthening the bond we need to feel like we’re all in this together. Even if you are in quarantine because of exposure, try using FaceTime or some other digital mode of connecting with loved ones to share your eating experience, recipes and conversations with them and tell stories in real-time. Remember, stories are facts too!

5. Metal: Breathe and Poop

Breathe: Metal is associated with the Autumn season, the time to let go, to prepare for the winter months. Breathing exercises are one of the fundamental ways we can strengthen our lungs, clear out toxins, revitalize our respiratory immune defenses and calm ourselves. Make sure the air is clean and fresh and humidified to protect and invigorate the lungs. Remember, the lungs don’t like dryness.

The long exhale: Here’s how I teach “power breaths” to children. It’s like blowing out candles on a birthday cake. The timing is 3-4-5 (for adults 4-5-6). Make two fists and breath in and count to yourself 3 seconds. Hold breath (4 sec) and make a wish. Breath out slowly (~5-6 seconds) as if you’re blowing out candles on your birthday cake, while opening your fists. When you puff out your cheeks while exhaling, you are activating the facial muscles that trigger the social engagement network that brings a sense of calm. This is an important practice for relieving the panic attacks we’re all having right now around the threat of getting sick.

Poop: Have a good poop to have a good day. My grandfather always said that the secret to life was a good bowel movement. The United States is one of the most constipated countries in the world. Sales of Over-the-Counter laxatives in the US averages over a billion dollars. This is in part due to our dietary habits. But it’s also due to the chronic stress that elicits fight-or-flight responses in our body. A good BM helps us let go of all the toxic stress we’ve been carrying around all day. Diets rich in organic oils and fiber feed the “community garden” of organisms that live in our gut and help our immune system function effectively. Probiotics can help promote as much diversity to that garden as possible and will ensure that we can process the crazy information we are encountering and get rid of what we don’t need without it building up in our system. Until the stories start coming out about who is recovering from Coronavirus, practice these Five Elements of self-care seriously every day and you will be mobilizing the natural rhythms that have taken millions of years to evolve to ground you in the basic facts of life. Take care.

Stephen

Self-care in five phases

  1. WATER: drink and sleep
  2. WOOD: move and nature
  3. FIRE: massage and laugh
  4. EARTH: eat and converse
  5. METAL: breathe and poop

In honor of our Executive Director Carey Davidson’s new book The Five Archetypes coming April 7th, we are highlighting some points she shares regarding healthy child development over the next few weeks. Carey specifically focuses on pointers regarding learning style, sleeping needs, eating habits, physical needs and feelings for each type. This week we focus on the Wood child and how they deal when not at their best!
 
THE WOOD CHILD
Feelings: When Wood kids are not at their best, they tend to jump quickly into anger. It’s important to help your Wood kids learn about gradations of anger and to pay attention to the subtle clues and changes in their feeling sin response to internal and external circumstances. This way your Wood kids will earn to have more control over their reactions to disappointment.

THE FIVE ARCHETYPES
We can’t wait for our founder Carey Davidson’s book The Five Archetypes, coming April 7! Discover the personality archetypes within you and improve your life and relationships with a new self-guided system of personal transformation. The book reflects the five elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine and the Hero types we use here at Tournesol Kids. In The Five Archetypes, Davidson explains that by knowing the personality traits associated with each type and using what she calls the Five Archetypes method, you can actually start to predict your behavioral patterns—not only with yourself but also with your friends, your romantic partner, your children, and even your colleagues.

Pre-order Now

Alienation is the epidemic of our time. Our kids are over-scheduled with too much screen time and not enough time in nature, leading to high rates of inflammation and constipation. Though it seems more daunting than ever to raise a good human, you can use empathy to navigate the spirals of childhood. Hear Dr. Stephen Cowan on the mindbodygreen podcast giving insight about how parents can use intuition, human connection, and the Five Elements along the journey of child development. 

This is part four of a four-part series

Jiuan Heng, PhD, CCH

Water’s Right Hand Helper: Gold
Andrea resonates most deeply with the Gold and Water phases. It is very revealing that she sees the Gold Hero as the true leader, while she has such deep insight into the energy of Water. We often admire those who have qualities that we would like to embody. In Andrea’s case, Gold is her helper, her Knight in Shining Armor. When she feels stressed, she feels the need to control herself. It is how she compensates for her sensitivity and her dreaminess. Too much Gold can freeze a Water child, when she adheres to unrelenting standards and passes inflexible judgments. The super-refined, super dignified child can also have difficulty controlling her bladder. In Andrea’s case, the imbalance of Gold and Water manifests as headaches, overwhelming fatigue and/or apathy and stage fright — a form of freezing.

The homeopathic remedy Staphysagria enables her to feel more at home in her skin. It relaxes the impulse to set the bar too high, while judging herself too harshly. At the same time, she is able to incorporate the just-right amount of Gold power in her life spontaneously, with a schedule to balance work and relaxation/fantasy.

Water’s Left Hand Helper: Wood
For a Water child, Wood is another helper. Spring is the most challenging season for Andrea, when hay fever keeps her indoors. She needs a Wood outlet for the energy that she bottles up. I suggest that her parents find an after-school sport that she enjoys. A form of yoga that integrates breath (Gold) and movement (Wood) would also hit the spot.

Family Dynamics
Andrea’s parents are strong Wood (mother) and Gold (father) personalities. For a Water/Staphysagria child, these helpers are like the stakes that keep the delphinium flower standing up straight. Their well-intentioned support can sometimes overwhelm. Parenting is a delicate dance, weaving between too-much and too-little support. Each child calls for a different rhythm! As a thirteen year old embarks on another cycle of life, inspired by the existential question “Who am I?” parents are invited, yet again, to reconfigure their family dynamics.

Eventually, Andrea will grow even more with the (challenging) support of Earth Power — the gift of harmonizing with others through conversation, through eating, cooking and working together. Ultimately, when Andrea can bring her own serious, gentle nature to harmonize with Fire personalities and situations, she will become a true Water hero. The endeavor to become fully human(e) is a work in progress. Tournesol Kids get a head start with baby steps that add up.

About the author:
Jiuan Heng is a certified classical homeopath who incorporates the Tournesol Kids coaching method into her work with children and young adults. She sees clients at Tournesol Wellness, 26 E 36 St, NY, NY 10016. www.homeopathystudio.com

This is part three of a four-part series

Jiuan Heng, PhD, CCH

The next time we meet, Andrea’s symptoms have all improved significantly and we talk about what lies ahead. Homeopathy helps to resolve stumbling blocks and liberates a child’s potential. True healing lies in enabling her to meet her challenges, not as if she were Staphysagria, but as Andrea. If I can help her to identify and to step into her own strengths, to be aware of how she responds to stress and what she can do to meet them in the moment, she will grow that much stronger.  The Five Elements and homeopathy converge beautifully, as we shall see.  

Knowing Andrea’s individual holistic pattern from a homeopathic perspective (Staphysagria), I had an inkling that Andrea’s Superpower is Water, with a helping of Gold. A Water child is insightful and imaginative! I invite her to explore each season, their different flavors, their meanings and to imagine how these forces of nature might express themselves within us.

“Spring,” she begins, “is when everything bursts into life. Trees start to leaf out. There’s so much pollen. I get hay fever and my eyes itch and tear. Sometimes I can’t even go outdoors for days.”  She imagines that the kids who embody the energy of Spring/Wood must be “bursting with energy. They can’t sit still. They’re loud and they’re always busy. That’s my mom!”

“In the Summer,” she continues, “we are on vacation. There’s less pressure. We’re more relaxed, and have more fun in the summer. Children who have Summer/Fire power must be lots of fun to be with.”

She did not have much impression of late summer or the harvest season, except that she enjoys apple picking.

“Fall,” she picks up again, “is when the leaves change color. It feels different when you’re a child, and when you grow older. Before, I just thought it was so pretty. Now, I feel sad when fall comes. The leaves are pretty, but they are also dying. I can’t think of one without the other. I know that very soon, there will be no more leaves.” 

I tell her that without the leaves, we see the structure of the trees more clearly. “Yes, it’s not hidden by the leaves.” I also tell her that it’s the best time to plant trees and bulbs so that they can rest and send down their roots without having to grow leaves over the winter.

“Planning!” she concludes, very excited. “These people are the real leaders, very charismatic. They have everything together. They’re not disorganized. When they have everything together, they can tell other people what’s what.”

“Winter” is “quiet and peaceful. You want to curl up and read a book.” She is reminded of Water. “Water flows all over. With water, a little touch leaves ripples all over. Just like homeopathy! And there’s also snow. Every snowflake is different.”

This is part two of a four-part series

Jiuan Heng, PhD, CCH

In the lunchroom, as her group of friends were chatting, Andrea said something to lighten the mood. A girl put her down, telling her she was “nothing, and should not have talked.” Andrea cried on the spot. “I slammed the chair and ran out the door.” When the girl apologized later, Andrea told her, “You had insulted me before. You wouldn’t be saying sorry if you really meant it!” The next day, Andrea felt remorseful about hurting her friend’s feelings.  

Andrea has stage fright. She would freeze, hyperventilate and cry. “I am pretty sensitive. My head goes blank. There are kids in class who talk behind other people’s backs. If someone is not popular, and they do something weird, everyone starts laughing. It’s not like if someone popular says something funny and other people laugh.” She avoids speaking up in class.

When Andrea and a partner were completing a debate project a few months ago, she pulled out at the final moment, after writing up the closing argument.  She just couldn’t bring herself to stand in front of the class to perform. When mom found out, she encouraged Andrea to “just do it.” They fought. The next day, she felt extremely guilty. She clammed up even more.

The Holistic Pattern

Andrea is the epitome of “a perfectly good girl.” At an age when many girls have learnt how to cover up insecurities with some semblance of coolness, she cries hysterically in public. It is as if she has no skin. She is particularly sensitive to insults, perceived and imagined. She is mortified by the thought of doing wrong. But she cannot control her emotions after a point and has little physical outbursts of anger, slamming and throwing things. Afterwards, she feels remorseful. Her herculean efforts to contain herself give her headaches. In fact, her herculean efforts in general — to be a dutiful child, an outstanding student, a good friend, to be exemplary — make her feel as if she is “pressed down by metal plates,” exhausting her to the point where she spaces out. Then, she escapes by watching videos, gaming, reading book after book, even when she knows that she has homework waiting.  

“Like Cures Like”: Resolving the Holistic Pattern of the Child with a similar Holistic Remedy

There is a remedy that fits this exquisite sensitivity of Andrea’s: Staphysagria. No English cottage garden would be complete without the delphinium flower. It lends regal elegance and a gorgeous blue to the carefully cultivated garden borders and cut flower bouquets. A real princess, it needs soil that’s neither wet nor dry, sun that’s neither too hot nor too dry, shelter from wind, space and stakes in order to blossom. It’s the first homeopathic remedy to think of when an invasive surgery like a C-section leaves a woman feeling upset and disappointed, especially when the doctor or nurse is “rude” and “rough.”

I think of Staphysagria as the Princess and the Pea remedy. It truly serves the extremely sensitive person who is upset by the rough and tumble of daily life. (S)he who receives Staphysagria’s support grows a thicker skin and can sleep without layers of mattresses to cushion her (albeit poorly) from the disturbance of the little pea under the bed. She may not even need her Prince in Shining Armor to fight her battles for her!

Same pattern, different symptoms: How a Remedy helps a Child at Different Stages of Development

In early childhood, Staphysagria helped to resolve Andrea’s styes and bedwetting.

At 6 years old after taking a high potency dose of Staphysagria, Andrea started to “flip, spin, climb bars,” playground fun that she never used to enjoy.  Bullies at school were “no longer mean.” She started to fight with her sister. She went from being child who found “everything too hot, too cold, too this and too that,” to one who could enjoy her foods, tolerated a wider range of environments. She became much easier to care for.

At 11 years old, Staphysagria helped her to focus on getting her homework done and enabled her to express what she knew on paper. She became less sleepy.

At 13 years old, Staphysagria was transformative. About a month after she took the remedy, she showed up for an interview to intern at a museum and “enjoyed it,” speaking from her heart. During the summer vacation, she drew up a daily schedule to study for the entrance exam in October, with timed breaks for computer fun and meals. Her headaches resolved.

Homework is no longer an issue: “I no longer fight against myself.’ And “I don’t think about what my friends think of me.”

“The difference is night and day,” her parents reported again. “Just one dose!”

Client’s drawing as a 6 year old. Note the subtle blue aura around the flower.

This is part one of a four-part series

Jiuan Heng, PhD, CCH

I met Andrea for the first time seven ago, when she “was just a kid” with separation anxiety. Three years ago she saw me again for extreme fatigue and headaches. Each time, a single dose of a homeopathic remedy would help put things right. “The difference is night and day ­— you wouldn’t believe it!” her parents would report within a few days of giving her a homeopathic remedy.

Now, Andrea is in 7th grade and has “issues” that she does not wish to discuss with her parents. Her school would call her mother from time to time to ask if there were problems at home. She has been crying at school and is distracted at home. Her parents wondered if there were problems at school. After months of struggling, Andrea agreed to see me again.

As soon as she sat down, Andrea rattled off her 5-year plan to get into a good college. She had enrolled in a special test prep class to secure a place in the elite high school that she has set her heart on. Then, she has to get extra credits in high school “to save money on college.” Devastating consequences lurked in the gulf between a 94 and 96 point average. She is “good but not stellar.”

“On a bad day, if someone says something, it triggers me. I cried for 45 minutes. After that, I tried to go to the next class. But I kept on crying. Not like hysterical crying, but I couldn’t stop crying.”

Whenever she cries, her head hurts and she cannot focus on anything for the next two hours. She would go home and tell her parents that nothing was wrong. A week or two later, something would trigger her again. “I was crying like crazy at lunch. I couldn’t even get up because my head was hurting that much.”

A homeopathic interview revolves around the implicit question, “Who are you?” We explore that by inviting the client to describe how she experiences things. She will eventually reveal the key to her whole self, where body, mind, spirit speak the same language — the holistic pattern of a particular substance in nature. In the space between what she tells and what she shows, the pattern will emerge, bit by bit.

About the author:
Jiuan Heng is a certified classical homeopath who incorporates the Tournesol Kids coaching method into her work with children and young adults. She sees clients at Tournesol Wellness, 26 E36 St, NY, NY 10016. www.homeopathystudio.com

In this podcast, Dr. Stephen Cowan shares wisdom from his three decades of experience in the optimal development of children through the five elements of Chinese Medicine that we use here at Tournesol Kids. Everything he practices is designed to help kids develop deeper relationships with themselves, each other, their parents, their teachers and the world at large. Through holistic treatments according to the five elements, he has successfully treated children with chronic illnesses like diabetes and asthma.

Listen here

This winter, use the inherent sense of stillness of the season as a reminder to slow down at mealtime. Since Water children are daydreamers and deep thinkers, they may have trouble noticing their bodies’ hunger signals. To get the most out of meals, Water children need to reconnect with the present moment.

Help ease your Water child into the right headspace to eat with intention by establishing a mealtime routine. Eating at the same place and time each day can remind them to check in with their body about the nourishment they need. 

Choose one food a day to eat mindfully. Talk about where your food comes from, all the people engaged in helping it make its way to your plate, how it becomes incorporated into your body and the process of metabolism whereby our food generates energy. All these connections are important in helping Water children feel connected to the real world.

And of course, Water children (and everyone) can benefit from drinking plenty of water!

What’s your mealtime routine with your kids? Learn more techniques for mindfulness and nurturing your kids’ superpowers with in our #PowerUp course and The Tournesol Kids Game.

Healthy sleep is essential for growing healthy little people into true heroes! Sleep is a Water skill that calms the frequent overwhelm felt by Earth Children. Kids with Earth’s natural powers may appreciate soft music, a candle and belly breathing to help calm and quiet the mind. 

Water children themselves can get caught up in reading or daydreaming which can keep them from falling asleep. They can greatly benefit from a bedtime routine for relaxation including a soothing bath, lowering the lights, playing peaceful music, a hand massage, and essential oils.

What’s your sleep routine with your kids? Learn more techniques for mindfulness and nurturing your kids’ superpowers with in our #PowerUp course and The Tournesol Kids Game.

Shop our games and courses