This is part two of a four-part series
Jiuan Heng, PhD, CCH
In the lunchroom, as her group of friends were chatting, Andrea said something to lighten the mood. A girl put her down, telling her she was “nothing, and should not have talked.” Andrea cried on the spot. “I slammed the chair and ran out the door.” When the girl apologized later, Andrea told her, “You had insulted me before. You wouldn’t be saying sorry if you really meant it!” The next day, Andrea felt remorseful about hurting her friend’s feelings.
Andrea has stage fright. She would freeze, hyperventilate and cry. “I am pretty sensitive. My head goes blank. There are kids in class who talk behind other people’s backs. If someone is not popular, and they do something weird, everyone starts laughing. It’s not like if someone popular says something funny and other people laugh.” She avoids speaking up in class.
When Andrea and a partner were completing a debate project a few months ago, she pulled out at the final moment, after writing up the closing argument. She just couldn’t bring herself to stand in front of the class to perform. When mom found out, she encouraged Andrea to “just do it.” They fought. The next day, she felt extremely guilty. She clammed up even more.
The Holistic Pattern
Andrea is the epitome of “a perfectly good girl.” At an age when many girls have learnt how to cover up insecurities with some semblance of coolness, she cries hysterically in public. It is as if she has no skin. She is particularly sensitive to insults, perceived and imagined. She is mortified by the thought of doing wrong. But she cannot control her emotions after a point and has little physical outbursts of anger, slamming and throwing things. Afterwards, she feels remorseful. Her herculean efforts to contain herself give her headaches. In fact, her herculean efforts in general — to be a dutiful child, an outstanding student, a good friend, to be exemplary — make her feel as if she is “pressed down by metal plates,” exhausting her to the point where she spaces out. Then, she escapes by watching videos, gaming, reading book after book, even when she knows that she has homework waiting.
“Like Cures Like”: Resolving the Holistic Pattern of the Child with a similar Holistic Remedy
There is a remedy that fits this exquisite sensitivity of Andrea’s: Staphysagria. No English cottage garden would be complete without the delphinium flower. It lends regal elegance and a gorgeous blue to the carefully cultivated garden borders and cut flower bouquets. A real princess, it needs soil that’s neither wet nor dry, sun that’s neither too hot nor too dry, shelter from wind, space and stakes in order to blossom. It’s the first homeopathic remedy to think of when an invasive surgery like a C-section leaves a woman feeling upset and disappointed, especially when the doctor or nurse is “rude” and “rough.”
I think of Staphysagria as the Princess and the Pea remedy. It truly serves the extremely sensitive person who is upset by the rough and tumble of daily life. (S)he who receives Staphysagria’s support grows a thicker skin and can sleep without layers of mattresses to cushion her (albeit poorly) from the disturbance of the little pea under the bed. She may not even need her Prince in Shining Armor to fight her battles for her!
Same pattern, different symptoms: How a Remedy helps a Child at Different Stages of Development
In early childhood, Staphysagria helped to resolve Andrea’s styes and bedwetting.
At 6 years old after taking a high potency dose of Staphysagria, Andrea started to “flip, spin, climb bars,” playground fun that she never used to enjoy. Bullies at school were “no longer mean.” She started to fight with her sister. She went from being child who found “everything too hot, too cold, too this and too that,” to one who could enjoy her foods, tolerated a wider range of environments. She became much easier to care for.
At 11 years old, Staphysagria helped her to focus on getting her homework done and enabled her to express what she knew on paper. She became less sleepy.
At 13 years old, Staphysagria was transformative. About a month after she took the remedy, she showed up for an interview to intern at a museum and “enjoyed it,” speaking from her heart. During the summer vacation, she drew up a daily schedule to study for the entrance exam in October, with timed breaks for computer fun and meals. Her headaches resolved.
Homework is no longer an issue: “I no longer fight against myself.’ And “I don’t think about what my friends think of me.”
“The difference is night and day,” her parents reported again. “Just one dose!”